How To Recover From Mistakes You Regret Deeply.

We all make mistakes.

Some mistakes aren’t as deep as others.  And every now and again, you will make a mistake that leaves you in a state of long term regret.

I’ve talked to people who made mistakes that caused the death of a loved one.
I’ve talked to people who made mistakes that cost their companies millions of dollars either in lost revenues or in fines and judgement.

And then there are those whose mistakes cause others to live perpetually different as in the case of being responsible for someone loosing their eye, limbs etc.

The Unfortunate reality is tragedy will come knocking on the door in life or business at one point or the other. When that happens, it may feel like nothing can lift your spirits and pick you up, but as time goes on, there are certain coping mechanisms you can adopt to move forward.

 In my experience working with business leaders of all sizes,  I’ve come to realize that some of the very things we’re admonished not to do, are the best things to help us recover from their mistakes.

The key is to be totally honest with yourself and the extent of your responsibility. And if it’s necessary, let the grief flow.

By accepting the situations and taking due responsibility, you allow yourself to go through the stages of grief. And once that’s done, you’re ready to hit the ground running again.

The Stages of Grief

It doesn’t matter what tragedy has happened in your life, grief tends to follow a certain sequence of stages. While you may not experience all stages, you’ll likely experience a few of them. Welcome them. Embrace them, and they’ll be on their way soon.

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When you allow these stages to run their course, you’ll be able to go on with your life:

  1. In the initial shock of a tragedy, your first reaction might be to deny that it even happened. At the time it may be the best way for your body to avoid the pain. Depending on what happened, this stage can last from moments to weeks. However, staying at this stage is detrimental since you’re never really facing or accepting what has happened.
  1. Guilt is usually a part of grief whether or not you even have a reason to feel guilty. When you look to a situation after it occurred, it’s easy to point out the things you “should have done.” Take the time to feel the pain if you have to, but make sure you strive beyond this stage as well.
  1. It probably won’t be long before anger sets in. You’ve realized that you have no control and there is nothing you can do to repair the tragic situation. It’s important to feel your anger, but at the same time you mustn’t allow yourself to be controlled by it. You don’t want to cause lasting damage to yourself or someone else.
  1. The stage of depression  may  often last a long time. While you might not feel like talking with friends, it’s an important thing to do when you’re feeling depressed. You may discover a lot of things about yourself during this self-reflective time, which is why it’s an important part of the grieving process, although you mustn’t dwell in your own worries or anxieties.
  1. When Things Get Better. You’ll soon notice that your life and outlook gradually improves. You may not be back to yourself quite yet, but you’re starting to feel better. It’s important to keep your lines of communication open and remember that your loved ones want you to have a long, happy, and healthy life.
  1. Acceptance is the last stage. This is where you have truly accepted what has passed and you now feel hope for the future. Although things may have changed, your life is feeling back to normal otherwise.
  2. While I have my own reservations about this last one, many of my clients, both male and female have said that having random sex with a total stranger has helped them get their head in the right place in order to bounce back.

When You Feel Stuck

 

It’s common to feel stuck in a certain stage of grief. This is especially true when it comes to depression. The best thing you can do is to keep trying.

If you feel like things are taking longer than they should, you always have the option of seeking professional help. Grief counselors, Life Coaches like me are able to help you with your unique situation and may have some simple strategies to help you move forward.

As always, I would love to hear your thoughts…  Please drop a line in the comment box to say how you feel about this article… Whether or not you agree with me, I still want to hear from you.

12 Comments

  1. lb October 13, 2015
    • Dan Maxwell Jr October 13, 2015
  2. Louie Luc October 13, 2015
    • Dan Maxwell Jr October 14, 2015
  3. Sheila Nugen October 14, 2015
    • Dan Maxwell Jr October 14, 2015
  4. John October 14, 2015
    • Dan Maxwell Jr October 14, 2015
  5. Ruth Maisey October 15, 2015
    • Dan Maxwell Jr October 15, 2015
  6. Kevin October 15, 2015
    • Dan Maxwell Jr October 15, 2015

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